Swifties, rejoice!
After finding out that 99.9999% of CCHS seniors are die-hard Swifties, Taylor Swift has exclusively revealed to The Voice in a phone call that she will be coming to CCHS to speak at graduation and sing her setlist from the Eras tour!
If you do not know who Taylor Swift is, too bad! Just kidding, just ask one of your classmates; they will proceed to tell you about every single one of her songs for the next 13 days.
Imagine The Voice’s surprise when we received a call from Taylor Swift last Friday. If you want us to tell you her phone number, we won’t… it’s top-secret information. However, what we can tell you, is our conversation with her. It went like this:
“Hey guys, it’s Taylor. I was going to work on my new album, but I was interrupted when I saw a notification pop up on my phone. My manager sent me a message with no subject; just an article saying that 99.9999% of students at your high school are my fans. I mean, I know I have millions of fans, but this was just spectacular. After some thinking, I’ve decided that I will make a surprise visit to your high school and give a graduation speech!”
“Wow, that’s so cool! I didn’t realize that the statistic reached you. One of our graduating seniors decided to do a poll for her AP Statistics project, asking respondents to indicate whether they were fans of you. We definitely didn’t change any of the data, so you can believe with full confidence that this will be the best decision you will ever make.”
“Oh… okay… I uh… really appreciate all the support. By the way, my cats–Meredith Grey, Olivia Benson, and Benjamin Button–will be coming too as guest speakers for my speech. I literally just called my personal stylist and had her buy little graduation gowns and caps for each of them to wear.”
“That’s so cute, I can’t wait to see them! Will you be performing any music at graduation?”
“Yes, I actually added a stop–my final stop–to the Eras tour. And guess what, it’s with you guys!”
“Wow, thank you so much! CCHS is so honored… I have no words to describe how excited we all are to meet you in real life!”
“I’m glad to hear that! Ugh… my cats are hungry; they’ve been running around the couch and jumping all over me to get my attention. I guess I need to feed them now, so unfortunately, I’ve got to go. See you at graduation!”
As you can see, Taylor Swift will not only be speaking at graduation; she will also perform her setlist from the Eras tour for us! Her visit to CCHS will mark one of the most exciting days that our school has ever seen. The Voice is extremely grateful to have been contacted by Taylor Swift herself, and perhaps our high school will soon become the most popular school in the nation!
